I was proud to be a part of our local inter-Movement organization of rabbis that recently produced the following message:

The Michigan Board of Rabbis, representing the religious diversity of our Jewish community, celebrates the educational and religious growth exhibited by our young people at the time of Bar and Bat Mitzvah. We have grown concerned about some patterns in our community which have the capacity to diminish the holiness of this important rite of passage. We lovingly offer the following reminders for families preparing to celebrate a Bar or Bat Mitzvah:

• Continued education is primary. The Bar or Bat Mitzvah is an important milestone in a child's religious development, but it is not a graduation ceremony. Intensive teen education is essential for our children to develop the spiritual and intellectual skills necessary to lead a committed Jewish life. We also recommend that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and his or her family engage in a collective tzedakah project and, if possible, a trip to Israel. Such actions truly celebrate the Bar or Bat Mitzvah becoming a responsible member of the Jewish people. Please consult with your rabbi to explore appropriate options.

• Receptions have the capacity either to reinforce or to undermine the values of the religious ceremony. There is no Jewish reason to hold a lavish party. We encourage our families to use the meal following their simchah to reinforce the Torah’s values of holiness, modesty and good deeds. Recent customs such as candle-lighting ceremonies are not Jewishly mandated; they too have the potential to either affirm or to undermine the sensitivities taught by our sacred tradition.

• Children invited to attend the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service should be accompanied by parents. We encourage adults to demonstrate the importance of the religious service by sharing this experience together with their children. This also helps our synagogues maintain decorum as we celebrate Shabbat together as a community.

We hope that these values will guide your family as you prepare for what will be a joyous and spiritual occasion. We conclude by wishing you, in advance, a hearty Mazal Tov!