In the previous Bulletin, our president, Steve Sperling, wrote about the threat to Jewish survival that comes from outsiders. I would like to continue this discussion from a different angle. While there are indeed individuals and nations who pose a threat to Jewish survival, sometimes our own worst enemy is ourself. Two different recently published articles address this very issue.

In the April, 2008 edition of World Jewish Digest, journalist Sarah Bronson tackles the never ending topic of intermarriage, but from a somewhat new perspective. The article discusses, “the phenomenon of Jewish women in their 20’s who think they have plenty of time to get married, only to discover in their 30’s that men their age prefer to date younger women.”

The same article cites a study administered by Dr. Sylvia Barack Fishman and Daniel Parmer of Brandeis University which shows that as Jewish women are becoming more active in Jewish ritual life and culture, Jewish men have increasingly disappeared, rejecting both the trappings of communal affiliation and Jewish women.

The observation of this article is that many Jewish women who are actively looking for Jewish husbands, are hindered in their search by men who would prefer a younger wife, or a non-Jewish wife.

A final point made, from Dr. Stephen Bayme, of the American Jewish Committee, is regarding the phenomenon of delayed marriage in the Jewish community. At age 34, only 48% of Jewish men and 64% of Jewish women have married, compared to 59% and 70% of the general population. Dr. Bayme goes on to explain that delayed marriage leads to intermarriage.

It is therefore in our best interests to help the youngest members of our Jewish communities, both men and women, to be actively engaged in Judaism — religiously and socially — during the years they are most likely to meet a future husband and wife. We should strive to:

1. Keep our teenagers enrolled in Jewish education, youth groups, summer camps and Israel trips.

2. Insist that our children attend colleges with significant Jewish populations and programming.

In addition, we should be encouraging single Jewish men and women in our communities, who are looking to be married, to keep up the valuable effort of seeking only a Jewish spouse, and encourage them to be flexible in their criteria in defining their ideal Jewish partner.

The second piece I read recently was a Responsum from the Rabbinical Assembly’s Committee on Jewish Law and Standards, authored by Rabbi Kassel Abelson and Elliot Dorff, which urges Jewish couples to have more than two children. With language most sensitive to those who are unable to bear children, the teshuvah nonetheless pushes those who are able, to exceed what Jewish legal sources require of us.

Knowing that bearing and/or raising additional children puts a potential financial strain on couples, the authors of the teshuvah place some of the responsibility on the community:

“Jewish institutions should take steps to encourage young adult Jews to have three or more children. They can do that through steps such as these: flexible work schedules for the institution’s own employees who are parents of young children; pricing policies that award tuition relief for families with multiple children; day care options, etc.”

Both the World Jewish Digest article and the responsum from the Rabbinical Assembly remind us that the future of Judaism is largely in our own hands. The choices we make — to seek out a Jewish partner, and to bear and/or raise a maximum number of children — might pose challenges. But these are decisions which enable each of us to help filfill the words of Psalm 29:11:

“May God grant strength to His people; May God bless His people with peace.”